Ubisoft Removes Black Samurai from AC but Makes All NPCs Black Instead to “Prove” Feudal Japan Had Plenty of Black People

Ubisoft has been in a bit of a downward spiral lately. None of their recent games have managed to gain any real traction in the gaming community. Their Avatar game was about as fun as a hysterectomy without painkillers, and Star Wars Outlaws was so underwhelming that fans were begging for a pop-up to confirm it was just an “out-of-season April Fool’s joke.”

And now, Ubisoft is back at it again with another round of galaxy-brain decisions guaranteed to cost millions. The black samurai Yasuke, who has been the center of ongoing controversy, has officially been removed from Assassin's Creed: Shadows following a tidal wave of complaints—not just from anime purists, but also from the Japanese government. However, instead of walking away gracefully, Ubisoft has decided to handle this fiasco with all the maturity of a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Their solution? Replace the historically inaccurate Yasuke with a historically inaccurate entire cast of NPCs. That’s right—every single NPC in the game is now black. Not just the men, but the women, and children too.

Apparently, Ubisoft wasn’t content with merely rewriting Japanese history to fit their corporate DEI initiatives. Instead, they’ve decided to double down and make every man, woman, and child in Feudal Japan into the black samurai Yasuke. Because if you’re going to rewrite history, why not go all in?

Director of Assassin's Creed: Shadows, John “White-Guilt” Benoit, chimed in on the decision with this enlightening statement:

“I will never understand why people get so upset about the fact that people of color exist. I’m sorry your fragile ego can’t handle the idea of playing as someone other than a jacked dude or a perfect anime girl with a Pixar-dumptruck booty. Yasuke was the first DEI hire in the history of Japan, and putting him in the game was my way of showing that I’m better than all of you. But of course, you all had to cry about it on X like a bunch of babies. Well, congratulations—you got what you wanted. Just don’t come crying to me when this brilliant decision tanks our stock price. Which, to be fair, is already dropping faster than a fat kid on a seesaw.”

Never before has a director been so committed to a direction that clearly isn’t working. And just when it seemed like Ubisoft couldn’t sink any lower, they’ve managed to break out the industrial-strength jackhammer and find a new rock bottom.

At this point, there’s not much hope left for the Assassin's Creed franchise. This might very well be the final nail in Ubisoft’s coffin. Maybe, just maybe, other companies will look back on this trainwreck and realize that going toe-to-toe with a nation as patriotic (and gamer-dedicated) as Japan is not a sound strategy.

In the meantime, we’ll be sitting back and waiting for the inevitable think pieces from the same journalists who praised this game during pre-release coverage. Watching them try to unravel how this disaster could have possibly failed is bound to be the real entertainment.

Source: Trust me, bro.