.png)
It seems like every year at The Game Awards, there’s a bingo sheet checklist of events that we can confidently tick off. A celebrity who’s never touched a video game in their life makes an appearance and looks visibly uncomfortable the whole time. Geoff Keighley somehow finds a way to casually drop that he’s best friends with Hideo Kojima on live TV (probably so his parents can finally stop asking when he’s going to make some “real” friends). And, of course, the inevitable string of Muppet bits that both warms our hearts and leaves us deeply concerned for Geoff’s well-being. This year, the Muppets got a special treat: a few lengthy segments that cost a staggering $420 million because, according to reports, they’re the "main reason" people even tune in.
An anonymous insider spilled the beans on the behind-the-scenes chaos. Apparently, Geoff cycled through 40 different SNL actors all year, trying to perfect the script before throwing it all out. “Nobody could roast him better than the internet strangers in his Twitter comments,” the insider revealed. So, Geoff ran a few of the top comments through ChatGPT (and swapped out the word “honkey” for something a little more PG), and voilà—the Muppet bit was born.
The Muppets at this year’s awards were painstakingly hand-crafted using pink slips from every developer laid off this year. This was meant to serve as a poignant symbol of the growing greed in the industry—showing that while firing a developer may be temporary, the Muppets they’ll inevitably become are forever.
“There was literally no time to talk to Geoff about the actual games,” our source claimed. “Whenever you’d go to his office, he’d be curled up in a blanket, watching The Muppets Celebrate Jim Henson on repeat. It wasn’t until two weeks before the awards that we secured any advertising or even figured out who was going to show up. We had no idea what was going to happen."
“When the money finally started rolling in, Geoff would put 'For the Muppets <3' in the memo line of every check he signed,” said another insider. “At the end of the day, it didn’t even matter if the money was actually for the Muppets or not. We just wanted to get paid."
Other anonymous sources claimed Geoff would lash out at anyone who didn’t refer to his secretary as “Mrs. Piggy” and would frequently answer the phone in a “vaguely gay frog voice.” Despite the absurd amount of money and time spent on this spectacle, the Game Awards 2024 turned out to be a huge success. Given how each year seems to outdo the last, there’s no doubt that the Muppet budget for next year will be even bigger. Which makes sense, considering they are the main reason anyone’s watching the show, after all.
Comments