Suicide Squad Ending Content, Warner Brothers Asks Fans If They Have Any More Bad Ideas, As They're All Out

Warner Brothers has had a rough go of it in the video game industry this past decade. Ever since the Batman Arkham gravy train came to a screeching halt, it seemed like they had absolutely no idea what to do with their properties. At first, they thought it would be enough to churn out subpar DC movies or just patent cool game systems for no reason. But they knew that wouldn’t be enough, so they turned their attention to video games. Reports say they fired anyone at Rocksteady who didn’t chant “Single-player is dead, live-service is forever” at the top of their lungs every morning. Unfortunately for WB, live-service is on the brink of death for them, as Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League is (finally) ending content.

WB representative Franklin Heathercunt reached out to fans by personally emailing the 83 people who bought SS:KTJL across all four platforms. He asked if they had any more bad ideas they could capitalize on. “What would you do if you had some of the most recognizable IPs on the planet and wanted to make sure you’d achieve the most aggressively underwhelming return on investment possible?” Heathercunt wrote in the leaked email.

“We are looking for any and all great ideas because we’re ready to finally give fans what they actually want. Just make sure any ideas follow this simple and fun guideline!”

-Any and all ideas must be monetizable after the customer makes the initial purchase.-Ideas must include exactly four pre-planned seasons of content, which include but are not limited to: battle passes, in-game currency, paid skins, paid hats, paid emotes, secondary in-game currency, online-only multiplayer, an unnecessary social platform within the game, and a third in-game currency.

-Any and all ideas submitted are the property of WB, and we reserve the right to personally blame you at our next investor meeting if it doesn’t sell well.

-No mention of making Hogwarts Legacy 2.

-No mention of making Hogwarts Legacy 2 NOT a live-service game.

-Must include at least 25 different ways to promote diversity in our video game, as this is the most important thing for these products (so says our investors).

-Ideas must be brand new. It doesn’t make sense to go back and return to successful franchises like Shadow of War, Injustice, or the Batman Arkham games.

-Ideas must not contain our patented Nemesis system. We didn’t patent it because we wanted to use it—we did it because we thought it would be funny.

-Lastly, but not least, have fun!

With all these stipulations, it’s hard to imagine a world where WB doesn’t offer us something we can all collectively point and laugh at for another year. We still don’t know how they managed to make and sell Hogwarts Legacy, as whoever suggested the idea was surely fired for saying something so ridiculous. There is no doubt that Hogwarts Legacy 2 won’t be plagued by WB’s ability to absolutely ruin anything good they have going for them.

Source: Trust me, bro.