Report: 83% of PC Gamers Have a 300 GB “Homework” Folder Somewhere on Their Computer

A groundbreaking new report has revealed that a staggering 83% of PC gamers have a “Homework” folder somewhere on their computers. A folder that, for some inexplicable reason, is taking up a hefty 300 GB of precious hard drive space. Experts say this is an alarming trend, and while the exact contents of these folders remain a mystery, early indicators suggest the files are anything but academic.

Indeed, the large file sizes are puzzling, as no legitimate homework assignment ever required anywhere near 300 GB of space. Experts agree that the size, combined with the fact that “Homework” folders are typically hidden under layers of other generic folder names like “Important Docs” and “School Stuff,” points to the only logical conclusion: It's porn.

“Look, if you’ve got a folder named ‘Homework’ that’s larger than the latest AAA game install, you're probably not preparing for your next big exam,” said Dr. Holden McGroin and Dr. Jack Mehoff, leading researchers in the field of “Rope-Blasting” studies. “In fact, 300 GB is plenty of space for hundreds of hours of video content, and let’s just say the file types aren’t exactly .pdf or .docx.” 

The report has left many parents stunned, with most claiming that their $2000 gaming rigs – complete with an AMD Radeon RX 6600 and 16GB of DDR4 RAM (3200 MHz) – aren’t really being used for schoolwork like their children told them.

“It is disgusting.” said one parent who chose to remain anonymous. “Obviously I know he is jerkin’ off. He is 14. He probably thinks about how he can have some “Hand-to-Gland” combat more often than he breathes. But no one needs 300GB’s of choice at that age. It pains me to think my son is some kind of porn hoarder, downloading URL’s and collecting Riley Reid videos like they were goddamn Infinity Stones. Back in my day, you had two options. You stole a single Sears lingerie catalogue and kept it hidden away like treasure. Or you got lucky enough to find someone else’s stash of old 70’s porno mags they dumped in the forest.” 

Apparently this study has revealed that most gamers think alike, with the majority of them choosing to name their hidden folders some variation of “homework” or “Biology 100 Midterm Items” even though they never went to College. The news has sent waves of panic through young gamers as their genius-level secrets have been revealed, many of whom have returned home to find their PCs mysteriously wiped clean while they were at school.

Of all the things to name a folder you’d prefer no one to see, “Homework” really does take the cake. Perhaps the answer isn’t so much in re-naming these folders, but in hiding them deeper. Picture this: the real secret isn’t just calling the folder “Homework,” it’s nesting it within layers of other dummy folders like “History 101”, “Final Project”, “Final Project realfinalusethisone” until the person trying to break in just gives up. After all, it’s on-brand for gamers, really – a hidden treasure map that only the true treasure hunter can find.

Source: Trust me, bro.