“No Good Games Anymore,” Says Gamer Who Literally Only Plays FIFA and CoD

We all know that one friend. They own the newest console but only use it for two games—both of which are multiplatform. They have a PlayStation but have never played, or even heard of, any of its exclusive titles. Every game recommendation you give them is met with the same question: “Is it like CoD?” as if that’s the only metric they use to judge a game’s worth. You’d think their gaming experience only revolves around the same two games they play every single year.

People love to claim that folks who play Animal Crossing or mobile games aren’t "real" gamers, but they’re wrong. The real fake gamer is this guy. The one who happily sucks the long peen EA and Activision Blizzard’s offerings every year without question, then complains about it like they had no choice in the matter.

Call of Duty is great for one thing: being a gateway drug. Almost everyone who regularly plays games has tried CoD at some point, and most have fond memories of it. It’s a perfect introduction to the world of gaming, but some people never move on. The average time it takes for a gamer to realize that CoD is basically a copy-paste franchise is 2-3 entries. After that, if you still haven’t noticed that you’re playing the same game with a new coat of paint every year, maybe it’s time to see a doctor and ask where that extra chromosome came from.

These players are often incredibly loyal to brands that, let’s be honest, only see them as walking, talking dollar signs. They defend these multi-billion-dollar corporations as if their entire family is held hostage in a basement somewhere. They act as free marketing, preaching that “this time they finally listened to fans” and that “this year will be different.” They are the reason at any gaming conference, there’s an 8-minute-long CoD segment that most of us use as an opportunity to check our phones for notifications.

What’s even more challenging is arguing with these people about what other gaming experiences are out there. Making a recommendation is a nightmare because every game you show them “sounds gay,” according to them. Well, Chris, that game you just called "gay" won Game of the Year, so maybe your opinion isn’t the most trusted here. Then, five minutes later, they’ll be complaining that “there are no good games anymore” while eagerly waiting for the next CoD trailer to drop.

These guys are experts at opening their mouths wide and letting Activision dump their yearly dose of copy-paste nut gravy down their throats. They secretly love it. Maybe when they call a game "gay," they’re actually projecting a little bit. Hmmm...

Source: Trust me, bro.