Nintendo Confirms Next Pikmin Game Will Be a Soulslike – "Even Harder Than Elden Ring"

Nintendo, the company known for making games that exclusively dominate the family category at the Game Awards—and not much else—is ready to step out of their comfort zone for their next title. The Pikmin series, which is best known for its cute characters and strategy simulation gameplay, will undergo a shocking transformation into a punishing Soulslike, akin to Dark Souls and Elden Ring.

Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's "dad" and Nintendo's beloved spokesperson, shared the news through a post on MSNNews.com, confirming the drastic shift in direction. "We’ve spent far too long making easy, relaxing experiences so young gamers can see the joys of gaming," he said. "Much like a parent, it’s time we offer some 'tough love'—something that will make them hate themselves and prepare them for the harsh reality of life. It’s relentlessly unforgiving, there are no tutorials, and skeletons will stab you in the back if you let them. Just like real life, baby."

The news has taken fans of the series by surprise. With so many gameplay elements of a Souls game being so different from Pikmin’s traditional format, many are wondering how they’ll manage the transition. Well, Miyamoto was kind enough to offer a few more details.

"First off," he said, "Alph is f***ing dead. We kill him in the opening cutscene because, just like in the real world, no one’s going to help you—especially not someone named Alph. I mean, come on, who names someone Alph, for God’s sake?" He continued, "The Pikmin have been replaced with skeleton debt collectors, and they’ll be after your soul the moment you spawn in. There’s only one checkpoint in the entire game, but don’t bother looking for it— you’re never going to find it anyways, we made sure of that. Your experience points along with your save file will be deleted every time you die. Oh, and the only controller that works with the game is the Ring Fit Adventure plastic circle that uses motion controls. Good luck, lol."

As expected, the internet has taken this news as a personal affront. However, the shamelessly sadistic Souls community is already salivating at the thought of beating a Soulslike game with something even more embarrassing than DK Bongo Drums. Whether this move will pay off for Nintendo remains to be seen. In a world where ‘casual’ is a dirty word and ‘hardcore’ is a lifestyle choice, Pikmin Souls could just be the start of a beautiful (and soul-crushing) new trend. After all, who says only FromSoftware gets to teach us lessons about hating our lives?

Source: Trust me, bro.