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Vince Gilligan is a genius, and he has every right to do whatever he wants. He could fuck my wife in front of me and my entire family and it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. Breaking Bad is the best TV show ever made, and that's not even up for debate. Sure, you could argue that the first two seasons of Beast Wars might give it a run for its money, but let’s be real: Breaking Bad is probably just a tad more universally appealing.
Well, Vince has now been given the green light to make all of our wildest fantasies come true by announcing something we’ve all been waiting for— a brand-new game set in the Breaking Bad universe. The idea may have come from the same guy who directed the The Fly episode (because, honestly, the premise here feels about as promising as that), but get ready for this: it’s a “barely walking” simulator that subverts expectations by putting you in the shoes of Walter Jr., the cerebral palsy-afflicted character. Oh, boy...
The game, which boasts a feature list that includes “over 40 different challenging terrains to overcome,” will be developed by Game Freak. Yes, the same folks behind Pokémon. Apparently, they plan to use all the technological marvels they've developed for Pokémon to bring a truly groundbreaking experience to Walter Jr.’s world. According to the game’s website, some of the features include things like “Rendered environments, 3 different walking animations, and a QTE stutter system.” Yes, you read that correctly—stutter system.
A good Breaking Bad game is long overdue, so while the premise might not be exactly what we hoped for, there’s still a chance it could surprise fans. The game's director, Jian Rohnson, had this to say about what we can expect: “I wanted to flip the script from the beloved characters like Mike, Walter, and Jesse, and give some screen time to some of the lesser-known characters. This game will take place two years before the whole dramatic drug empire stuff kicks off, as we peek into the everyday life of a teenager. Most of the gameplay will revolve around choosing positive relationship-building dialogue options with teachers, taking notes in class, and navigating difficult stair-based minigames for Walter Jr. to overcome.”
With a title set in the Breaking Bad universe, one has to wonder why they wouldn’t leverage some of the more iconic characters to draw fans in. But fear not, it turns out they've thought of everything. Rohnson confirms: “We made sure to include fan-favorites too. After each day, you’ll have the opportunity to converse with your mother, Skyler White, about her day. You’ll gain points based on how supportive you are to her. And yes, we’ve even included the Los Pollos Hermanos chicken restaurant in the game. Players will be able to engage in extracurricular activities to boost their scores, one of which will involve picking up trash around town. I can confirm that some of that trash will indeed be from Los Pollos Hermanos. You’re welcome, gamers.”
Game Freak definitely has a lot of work ahead of them on this ambitious project. It’s not every day you get handed such a prestigious IP and somehow come up with an idea so awful it makes people physically wince. The last game that comes to mind with that level of cringeworthy potential is The Lord of the Rings: Gollum. That was a masterpiece of bad decisions. Perhaps the inevitable failure of this game will lead them to make better decisions in the future, but historically, that’s almost never happened. Oh well.
Source: Trust me, bro.
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