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Marvel Rivals has already survived the “flash in the pan” stage that doomed games like Palworld, and now it’s entered the more stable “Gooner programming” era that has kept games like Overwatch alive for years. If they play their cards right and keep rolling out women with Pixar mom levels of dump truck booties, they just might stay relevant—and become one of the few multiplayer games that actually thrives. The secret to their success? It seems to lie in the polygons of their characters' asses. Google’s tracking data reveals that the recent release of Invisible Woman has awakened a whole new set of kinks in players—kinks they didn’t even know they had. Hey, any publicity is good publicity, right?
If we take a closer look at the numbers, Marvel Rivals’ rule34 subreddit has grown like clockwork since its launch. The same goes for their player base, made up of gamers who probably need to be sent to horny jail. It seems that every time a new character drops, the internet responds by drawing lewd art, which leads to an exponential increase in players and—bonus—free advertising on adult video sites.
Marvel Rivals has reportedly spent a grand total of $40 US on advertising, yet somehow it’s one of the most talked-about multiplayer games on the market right now. How? Because Twitter is doing all the marketing for them. Players are sharing in-game screenshots of Psylocke with captions like, “Will you be my mommy? uwu”
“It’s actually kind of genius,” said industry insider Sohnny Jins. “Humans are biologically hardwired to respond to two types of advertising: food commercials when they’re hungry and pictures of half-naked women when they’re already horny. The kicker? Whether they like to admit it or not, humans are always horny.”
The industry insider presents a strong case, the evidence supporting Marvel Rivals' success is hard to deny. According to Google’s search data, "Invisible Woman" followed by “sit on my face” was ranked 98th among Marvel superheroes two months ago, right behind search terms like “Bully Maguire” and “Professor X.” Today, she’s the number one superhero search term.
One has to wonder if Marvel Rivals will even bother releasing any more male heroes at this point. The Thing, who dropped alongside Invisible Woman, has abysmal search results compared to her. At this rate, it’s clear that Marvel Rivals knows exactly what keeps them in the spotlight. As long as they keep feeding the internet thirst traps, they’ll stay relevant. That is, until they eventually decide to cut support for the game and launch Marvel Rivals 2, locking all the heroes behind a grindy wall. At that point, no amount of sexy superheroes will bring us back. Looking at you, Overwatch…
Source: Trust me, bro.
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