Geoff Keighley to Say Random Syllables for Streamer of the Year Award Just to See If Anyone Notices a Difference

Streamers, and the people who watch them, seem to occupy a segregated side of the gaming community. To put it in perspective: there are the guys who like butts and the guys who like boobs. Then, off in a dark, cold corner, are those who like feet. The feet guys are basically the modern equivalent of gamers who watch streamers. It's best to avoid making eye contact with them and leave them and their weird interests alone.

So, it’s no surprise that every year during the Game Awards, Geoff Keighley rattles off the awards for Streamers, Esports, and Esports Coaches faster than Gordon Ramsay cooking on cocaine.

In a groundbreaking move, Geoff announced on MSN News today, “I’m going to be trying something different for this year’s awards. I absolutely hate standing there with a straight face in front of millions of people and saying that streamers with names like ButtSniffinBandit, CaffeinatedAnus, and ThomasDaTwat-Tickler are nominees for an actual award. This year, I’m just gonna ‘fhsbfjshbfsjbs’ and see if anyone notices a difference. It doesn’t matter anyways. I’m already dead on the inside.”

Geoff continued, "I’ve spent literal decades legitimizing this industry to the rest of the world, to the point where we kick the Oscars' ass every year in terms of viewers. I’ll be damned if that all goes down the drain because I have to read off the stupidest gamer tags imaginable on live TV. Plus, I need as much time as possible for the always-hilarious muppet cut-away gags I cook up."

It’s hard to say whether this change will make much of a difference during this year’s Game Awards. After all, many viewers reportedly put the show on mute until the muppet sketches are over and the next trailer starts.

 Otherwise, this year is shaping up to be a typical one for the Game Awards. Geoff will undoubtedly brag about his "close friendship" with Hideo Kojima—despite the fact they’ve never actually had a conversation because they don’t speak the same language. But hey, we can always look forward to that.

Source: Trust me, bro.