Gearbox Agrees to Let Dying Fan Play Borderlands 4 Early, Then Kills Him

Dying is a funny thing. It’s usually seen as a bad financial move and is often ignored by most people—unless you're 12 years old or younger. This becomes especially true when it comes to making a dying wish. If you're a child, a dying wish is an extraordinary experience with absolutely no limits (unless, of course, their wish is to be cured). However, making a dying wish at 32 is a much more depressing affair. On top of no one being willing to go to great lengths to make your wish happen, you know it has to be grounded in reality. No Avengers will come to your bedside, your wife still won’t agree to a threesome, and you’re still probably going to have to go to work tomorrow. The best you’re likely to get is a little extra morphine, a DVD copy of Journey to the Center of the Earth, or, in rare cases, a lifetime subscription to Netflix (because, you know, you have 2 months to live). But this, my friends, is not one of those cases.

In a twist of fate, a middle-aged gamer is going to get his wish to play Borderlands 4 early—as long as Gearbox gets to personally pull the plug afterward.

Gearbox has agreed to let the man play an early “conception phase build” of Borderlands 4, even though the company hasn’t actually started working on the project yet. Randy Pitchford, CEO of Gearbox, had this to say:

“When I heard this man was dying and wanted to play our next game, I knew I had to do something. Apparently, this absolute madlad saw the Borderlands movie and still didn’t lose any respect for the franchise. Dedication like that has to be rewarded.”

“We don’t actually have a game right now. What we have is the concept of a game,” Pitchford explained. “We considered putting a grainy filter on Borderlands 2 and telling him it was 4, but ultimately, we decided that wasn’t a great idea.”

Pitchford continued, “So, we took the art team out to lunch, paid for their meals, and gave them as many napkins as they could draw on. I told them, ‘Give him something incredible. Let these napkins tell a rich story he’ll never forget.’”

While definitely generous in some ways, some people have taken offense at the idea that someone’s final months on this planet should be marked by so much disappointment all at once. Pitchford closed his statement with a somber note: “We had to, unfortunately, pull the plug on the poor man afterwards, as those Chili’s napkins he saw are technically confidential company property. If he lived and told people what we saw, that could’ve spelled real trouble for all 12 of our shareholders. I’m much more concerned about them being upset because, well, they can still get mad at me.”

A dying wish is better than no dying wish. In many cases, a plea like this would’ve fallen on deaf ears. We can only hope that when our time comes, someone finds it in their heart to do something as noble and generous as this gracious act. 

Source: Trust me, bro.