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Game Awards host and organizer, Geoff Keighley, has finally said what we've all been thinking: “Too many games coming out just straight up suck. So let’s not just talk about it. Let’s openly roast them on a world stage watched by hundreds of millions, where the shaming will undoubtedly destroy the mental health of those involved. Not because it’s the right thing to do, but because it’d be the funny thing to do.”
Honestly, it’s hard to argue with him. Over the years, fans have been begging for a category that honors the absolute worst games of the year. Suggestions like Biggest Disappointment, Largest Cash Grab, and Massacre of Nostalgia have all been tossed around. Who wouldn’t want to watch a bunch of developers squirm as their creations get eviscerated live?
At the end of the day, the Game Awards is meant to be by gamers, for gamers—so if the fans want it, why not deliver? This year alone has been a dumpster fire of releases that got roasted immediately upon arrival. We could easily fill an entire category with nominees like Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League, Concord, Skull and Bones, and Dustborn. This is just what was released this year, there are so many upcoming games to put in a most likely to bomb category as well. Games like the Skyrim prequel Lydia’s Inventory: The Ultimate Hoarding Experience or that Witcher spinoff: Vesemir’s colon cancer crash.
We even took a highly scientific poll of the most popular and unbiased gaming sites—4chan, ClubPenguin.com, and MountainDew.com—asking users what kind of new categories they’d like to see at the Game Awards. Here are some of the top suggestions we got:
The Crippling Debt Award
This category would celebrate games that combine gameplay with predatory monetization in perfect harmony. Players would always come crawling back for more, just like someone who keeps getting back together with their toxic ex in the hopes that, this time, it’ll be different. We’re thinking Marvel Snap would be a prime contender for this one.
The Least Diverse Cast Award
Representation matters… but not in this category. This award would honor developers who steadfastly refuse to bend over backwards to include black samurai in 16th-century Japan or make a game with any diversity whatsoever. The winner? Every Mario game ever.
Most Searched on Pornhub Award
With so many games coming out, it’s hard to know which ones are truly popular. What we haven’t been factoring in is how many times people look up these games on Pornhub when they want to spank it. We have no doubt that Stellar Blade would be the frontrunner here. Remember this is with a game that featured Tifa and Aerith in fully rendered 3D bikinis full of jiggle physics? That's pretty impressive.
The Cutest, Most F***able Animal Award
No comment.
All in all, it would definitely be interesting to see some fresh categories added to the Game Awards to shake things up. A move like this would undoubtedly anger a lot of people, but let’s be real—just like Geoff said, it would be pretty funny though.
Source: Trust me, bro.
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