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Add this to another footnote in the gaming Goonergate controversy. Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth Director, Naoki “NeedsaBonk” Hamaguchi, has expressed excitement over the existence of mods for the PC version of his game, saying they allow fans to experience the “version of FF we all want but won’t admit.”
As FF7 Rebirth released earlier this week on PC, many fans eagerly awaited the kinds of mods that would surface for the game. “Final Fantasy,” “Tifa,” and “Red XIII’s Red Rocket Chewbacca Wiener” have been among the highest-rated search terms on Reddit and Rule 34. Both of these sites, which are primarily known for their high-class anime titty content, have played a key role in keeping these search terms alive over Final Fantasy’s long lifespan. When FF7 first released, artists managed to somehow take the low-poly character models and pair them with hypernova thought and human imagination to create some of the most prolific internet pornography the world has ever seen. Rumor has it that Brazzers even considered paying Square Enix to make their characters less sexually appealing, fearing their subscription numbers would plummet with every new Final Fantasy release.
While some creators have denied ever having an impure thought, “NeedsaBonk” Hamaguchi has fully embraced his very human nature among gamers. “Of course I think about Aerith in the tub. If you’re telling me you don’t, you’re either a liar or a communist. The second I booted up the original FF7 as a kid and saw Tifa’s beautiful badonkadonks, I knew I had to see them in HD. So I spent years grinding my way to the top so I could eventually direct FF7 Rebirth and give this gift to the world. The only problem was Square Enix doesn’t agree with fully-rendered, 30-minute shower cutscenes like I do. I knew I was almost there, so I did what I could to signal to the fans that it was their turn to take it to the last homestretch.”
Hamaguchi is, of course, referring to the multiple lines of dialogue and references in the game that are ripe with opportunity to spark a modder’s imagination. Tifa constantly talks about wanting to take a shower (with you watching, presumably), one mini-game is clearly about how many up-skirt photos of Aerith you can take, and an important gameplay sequence where Cloud is forced to sit back and wait while Aerith and Tifa change outfits, even though they are clearly making out in there.
These subtle bread crumbs were left in an attempt to jumpstart the inevitable and quick-working modders of the community. “Personally, I’ve been waiting to play the game until the PC release,” Hamaguchi noted. “I’ve waited almost 30 years for this moment, and I plan to play the game the way I intended—not Square Enix’s ‘we need a T for Teen’ bullsh*t way. I hope by the time the modders are done, there will be no more Rule 34 art to create because we’ve simply peaked.”
While the director’s words are certainly bold, we can’t say we blame him for being so rebellious.
It was reported that during development, staff were required to code while wearing “anti-masturbation” crosses to ensure that no sinful thoughts entered their heads while working on the game. We can’t wait to dive in and experience FF7 Rebirth the “way it was intended” by the director himself. We just hope our dad doesn’t barge in to ask, “Are ya winning, son?” while we play.
Source: Trust me, bro.
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