Elon Musk Offers New Service Where X Interns Play Your Games for You

Games are supposed to be fun, right? But sometimes, that fun gets derailed by the tedious chore of, you know, playing the game—pressing buttons, staring at the screen, actually experiencing the game itself. Enter Elon “Slave Labor” Musk, who’s come up with a solution that he’s apparently been using for years in secret. For just $0.99 a minute, X will provide you with a low-level intern to sign in and play your games for you. Now you can feel the “pride and accomplishment” of grinding without, well, actually doing any of the grinding. Hallelujah!

This service was unveiled as the first initiative in Musk’s new role at DOGE (Devious Organization for Gameplay Exploitation). His pitch? If we can avoid wasting time on hobbies, we’ll all have more time to work, be productive, and, I guess, buy Teslas.

The internet’s reaction? Mixed, to say the least. Many gamers argue that part of the fun of playing a game is actually doing the work. They like the grind, the sweat, and tears—mainly because it keeps them busy so they don’t have to deal with their real problems. On the flip side, mobile game “whales” are stoked about the opportunity to pay their way into gaming glory without breaking a sweat.

This new service, humorously named “Tweet & Cheat,” isn’t limited to just online games. Oh no, this applies to all games. Want to claim you’ve conquered the maddening difficulty of every Souls game? Done. Want to boast about having a mildly impressive speedrun record for Super Mario 64? No problem. But wait—do you want to claim you’ve beaten every Souls game using nothing but a DK Bongo drum and a Dance Dance Revolution pad? Well, that intern will lose a few more years of their life, but hey, it’ll get done, only by paying countless $0.99 a minute.

Apparently, the idea came to Musk after he realized that, after he fired most of the staff, the few remaining interns at X weren’t doing much—so why not give them a side hustle? These interns actually pay to work at X and get to slap it on their resumes. As Musk put it: “What’s an intern, if not just free ‘slave labor’?” 

Gamers have been getting squeezed dry lately with rising base game prices, a myriad of pricey special editions, and the ever-increasing lack of physical copies. Here’s hoping we can laugh this one off as one of Musk’s worst ideas yet. After all, who would pay someone to do something they can easily do themselves? It’s like paying extra for someone to pick up your food for you, or go grocery shopping for you… Oh wait.

Source: Trust me, bro.